Help and Humility

I won’t clutter the main focus of this message with a lot of my ramblings, so I’ll get straight to the chase. My best friend forced her care and kindness upon me, basically abducting and tieing my stupid pride and stubbornness to a chair in a dark basement somewhere, then set up a PayPal account to receive donations for those who want to help with my situation. Here is the FB message she compiled for our communities:

To all who want to help Scott financially: 

Ignore what Scott ever said about not wanting financial help; he forgot anarchy and smiles don’t pay medical bills. If you are wondering why Scott doesn’t have insurance, it is because he had to be at his current job for 6 months before he was eligible and he was there only 2 months. There is no fundraising goal at this point; every bit will help.

A new bank account is set up managed by Scott and his parents. If you know Scott at all, you know he’ll be transparent and ever-grateful for your help. You can contribute via PayPal or by check.

PAYPAL:
1. Send money to Scott at urbanwings@hotmail.com
2. Choose *Send Money Online and *I’m sending money to family or friends
3. If you are sending money by credit card or another way that requires fees, you can choose to either have the sender or receiver shoulder the fees. If you can, please have the sender take the fees.

CHECKS:
1. Please make checks out to Scott Spitz
2. Mail checks to Mary Beth and Thomas Spitz at 2162 Heather Glen Way * Franklin, IN * 46143

Thank you. Thank you.

I do, however, feel it is important to clarify a few things in relation to this request for assistance.

First and foremost, I sincerely wish I didn’t feel compelled to post this.  I pride myself on my self-reliance, fully willing to dig myself out of any holes I may find myself falling into (or have dug myself), the financial hole being one I keep finding myself staring out of, but always working to climb out. This circumstance however, this cancer diagnosis, couldn’t have come at a more unfortunate time. Smack in between getting laid off from a job of five years that I had JUST started the paperwork on to set up insurance for my son and myself, and a new job that would offer me health insurance…after six months. I had only been there two when the pain hit. And so I’m one of THOSE. One of those “uninsured americans” I hear the radio mention often during their newscasts and interview shows in the heat of our nation’s healthcare debate. I’m now one of THOSE talking points. I’m one of the unfortunates that has the physical abilities to work for insurance and the social privileges to be in a position for insurance, but the forces of chance and circumstance have yanked the solid floor out from under me, only to reveal a long, dark financial chasm to fall into. And without knowing much about what is to come physically, this chasm is my most immediate worry, for the burden I want to avoid placing on others and the inability to provide for my son. This just can’t happen.

Right now, my mother and I are about to wade through a haze of financial options that might be available to people like me, short of reversing time and moving to Sweden or something. I have had a number of friends immediately forward me various options of which I have compiled and we are using to figure out the best path to take. I am so grateful for all this initial information, as alone I would probably be frozen at the prospect of even finding out where to start.

At the same time we are trying to find the institutional options for coverage, my friends (those intimate and those I have never even met) have stepped up to add some planks to stand upon above that dark chasm. The first of the donations have started trickling in and I’m already left speechless. I just won’t ever be able to find the words to express my appreciation for this sort of support, but I hope to find some sort of gesture or deed to repay everyone in the future. My stomach may be full of cancer cells right now, but my heart is even fuller of gratitude.

Again, it is hard for me to know that my situation compels others to sacrifice their own resources for my sake. I know how precious every penny can be and it concerns me knowing that others are sacrificing for my sake, no matter how justified/altruistic the situation may be. With that in mind, however, I want to be clear that I am searching for that institutional help to make these donations as unnecessary as possible, though they are inexpressibly appreciated. Further, should any amount of these donations go unused towards medical/living expenses while I work through this process, I have committed to diverting them to an organization to be determined that helps the unfortunately uninsured with their needs in the face of life-threatening medical situations….so just know anything sent is a lifeline, if not to me, then to SOMEONE.

I will simply not be able to repay my thanks for the love and support I’m receiving right now, but know that I feel as supported and as strong as I could possibly be going into this operation, recovery and what may come from there on out. Thank you friends, for the stable footing you have built for me to stand on above that chasm. May no one ever find themselves falling into it.

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2 responses to “Help and Humility

  1. Scott,
    While I had insurance in place when I was diagnosed with my cancer, the stress of it is still there. While its hard not to think about it, I urge you to find other things to do other than think about the cancer. It’ll drive you insane! I was also in a position where I couldn’t run because of it… I found it was great just to be around runners. The BARA group did amazing things to keep up my spirits and to help me feel like I was still a part of the group. Let your running buddies keep your mind off the negatives by transporting you into their world. It’s not the same, but the laughter and stories help keep the bad thoughts at bay. I wish you the best of luck. I know you will come out on the other side with a greater appreciation of the ability to run and a love for friends and family you never thought could grow bigger than what it is. Good luck on your journey and keep running goals in front of you. It gives you something to look forward to and helps keep you in a better state of mind!

    • Thanks for the good words and advice Ashleigh. I guess I’m fortunate in that my thinking about cancer isn’t so much dreading it as it is finding a way to use it to my advantage, to make something positive out of it for others. I can’t imagine doing anything else with it, or even ignoring it. Meanwhile, I’m still keeping as much normalcy in my life as possible, hanging out in coffee shops, writing, etc., and yes, that definitely helps.

      I’m very fortunate to be in contact with my running team…and am thinking of visiting them at their workout tomorrow just to be a part of it. And thanks to FB and Instagram, Im’ never that much removed from running culture. 🙂

      Thanks again for your encouragement!

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